The Bus Ride
by KimBob
Summary: Horo and Ren get in a terrible crash on a bus. Ren goes into a coma, and who is out to get him? Can they ever be together? HoroRen
1. The Crash, The Coma

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER ONE – The Crash, The Coma

"C'mon, Ren, we don't want to be late!" Horo Horo shouted as he dragged the younger shaman through the masses of people rushing past each other on the busy sidewalk.

"Why not? Please, remind me again why I'm going with you?" he grumbled as he followed the taller boy.

"We'll miss our bus if we don't get there in time, I want you to come, you want to support me, and you need more convenience in your life, that's why!" Horo answered smoothly.

They made their way to the bus stop and he plopped into a seat as though they'd been running for miles. Ren rolled his eyes and stood in the far corner with a watchful eye out for their bus.

He wondered again if he was nuts when Horo Horo had begged him that morning to accompany him to a singing audition, under the pretext of showing him the benefits of riding a bus. He already knew Horo had a marvelous voice, and it was no doubt that he would win this minor audition, but something had told him he aught to go.

Something had been bugging him all day, and he had a bad feeling that something bad was going to happen to the ice shaman he'd grown to care for. He normally took his feelings very seriously as bad omens, but today he didn't have the heart to warn Horo about his feeling and so he brushed it off and decided to go with the Ainu, just in case.

Horo Horo brought him out of his thoughts with a coughing fit, and he turned to his companion with a raised brow. Next to him, a man sat smoking a cigarette; right under a no smoking sign. Ren sighed and pulled his kwan dao out of its case, quickly snapping it together and holding it up to the man. "Can you read?" he asked sternly, glancing pointedly at the sign. The man sputtered a bit and took off running down the street yelling about a psychopath at the bus stop.

As quickly as it was out, it was gone and Horo said, "Thanks, Ren. I have asthma." Ren nodded curtly before returning his attention to the road, where a bus had just pulled up. They piled onto the vehicle and paid the fee, Ren mumbling about how much better taxis are.

He chose the seat in the back left corner, right above the wheel, and Horo sat beside him He stared out the window in silence, the ominous feeling growing and his tension rising until he knew that the slightest movement would send him off the edge. Perhaps he was going insane?

Then, it happened so suddenly, no one saw it coming. They had just entered an intersection when an out of control truck rammed straight into them, right at the back left corner...

Horo Horo's eyes flickered open slowly, taking in the whiteness of the room. Puzzled, he tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down by a slender hand. He followed the hand up into a small, pretty face, azure eyes meeting their replicas. He grinned softly. "Pilica." He was relieved to see the familiar face. Then he frowned, looking around. "Where am I? What happened?" Confusion masked his voice.

"You were in a car accident, onii-chan. You're in the hospital. You've been asleep for two days. You're lucky to be alive." she hugged him as fresh tears ran down her face. He closed his eyes as memories flooded him. Flashes of colors, the back of the bus, the huge headlights growing closer, the loud crunch of broken bones and scraping metal, a brief cry of his name, screaming, everything burned into his mind forever. Then, a thought hit him.

"Where's Ren?" he asked quickly. She pulled back and a sorrowful look flashed on her face, then uncertainty.

"I, I'm not sure I should tell you so soon after you woke up." she said quietly.

"Tell me, now, Pilica. Where, is, Ren?" he said firmly. "He's not... dead, is he?" he gulped down the lump in his throat.

"No, not dead, but close enough. The doctors aren't sure if he's in a coma, or brain dead. He's been switching from stable, to not, and back again. They've almost given up on him. He has a 90 chance of death, and a 99 chance of never waking up again. If by some miracle, he does, then it's for sure that he will be paralyzed, have no ability in his right arm, and 50 chance of insanity or retardism. He barely has a chance." she whispered. Horo felt like someone had smacked him hard. It was his idea to take the bus, he'd forced Ren into it, and now Ren was dying, and it was all his fault.

"I want to see him." he choked out. "No, you have to stay in bed." she began, but he cut her off. "No, Pilica! I'm going to see him, I have to!" his stubborn side was showing and she couldn't help but smile, he'd never change. She nodded and requested a wheelchair be sent to the room. Moments later, she pushed him off towards Ren's room, where he was currently stable.

"Call if you need me." she told him as she realized he wanted to be alone. He nodded mutely as he took his friend's hand in his own.

"Please, wake up, Ren-kun. Please be okay. I'll die if you stay like this, I will. It's all my fault you're even here. If I'd only listened to you, this would never have happened. I'm so stupid..." his voice trailed off as he became lost in his thoughts. He lay his head on Ren's lap and fell asleep as he waited.

_Horo woke to a hand stroking his head gently. Looking up, he saw Ren was the source of the hand and he grinned stupidly. "You're awake!" he shouted in joy, latching onto his pal. Ren got up from the bed. "Yes, and it's all you're fault. You were the baka who came up with the idea, and now we ended up in the hospital. It's all your fault. All your fault. All your fault.. All your fault... All your fault... All your fault..."_ his voice faded and Horo heard Pilica telling him to wake up.

His eyes opened and he saw his sister's face peering down at him. "You alright? You were mumbling and tossing in your sleep." she informed him and he realized he was in his hospital bed again, and it was all a dream.

"I'm fine. How's Ren?" he asked anxiously.

"Don't hold your breath. There's no change and no one expects one except for you. Even Yoh has given this one up." she told him. He glared at her.

"No, I won't give up. I can't give up on him. He's too strong to stay like that. He will recover. I know it." he said, eyes shining with determination. The days passed by and he was finally released to go back home, but trouble hit outside the hospital doors.

The camera bulbs flashed off and frenzied reporters scrambled to ask him questions. "What was it like to be in the biggest intersection crash since 1922? How do you feel about your brain dead companion?" the answers tried to make their way out of his mouth quickly enough but came out as muffled mumblings, which quickly turned into cries to stop. He held his head with both hands and yelled 'stop', curling into a tight ball in the wheelchair. Racking sobs overtook him and his eyes squeezed shut as he begged them to go.

The yelling stopped immediately as Pilica's voice shouted, "STOP! YOU LEAVE MY BROTHER ALONE! CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S CONFUSED ENOUGH, HAVING LOST HIS BEST FRIEND AND WOKEN IN A HOSPITAL! THEN HE GETS ALL YOU BASTARDS TRYING TO MAKE NEWS OF HIS TRADGEDY? YOU MAKE ME SICK, EVERY ONE OF YOU! YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU'LL MAKE OFF OF THE DEATH OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE! HAVE YOU NO SHAME! GET AWAY FROM MY ONII-CHAN!" Surprisingly, this method worked and the crowds seemed to dissipate into thin air.

"No... No... It wasn't me... I didn't mean to... I'm sorry..." Horo cried into his arms. Pilica slowly peeled his hands away and he looked up at her.

"Horo, we all know it wasn't your fault. No one could have prevented it, no one knew. It'll be alright. I know it will." she soothed him, hugging him tightly.

Weeks turned into months and there was still no sign of Ren waking anytime soon. He was now out of the woods and stable at all times, but in a perpetual sleep, perhaps for the remainder of his life. However, the young ice shaman refused to give up hope. He visited Ren every day, even just to talk to his unconscious form. But, as time went on, he came less and less, and spent less and less time there. It had been almost a year since the accident, now, and finally, the visits stopped completely, he had given up.

It was January first, 2:00 in the morning, when the phone rang in the Usui house. Horo Horo reluctantly left the comfort of his bed to slowly pick up the phone. "Hello?" he said sleepily.

"Mr. Usui, you'll never believe this!" a voice shrieked from the other end.

Holding the phone away and cringing, he asked, "What?"

"That Tao fellow you were in the accident with, he woke up just now! And he's asking for you!" the phone screamed loud enough for him to drop it. "Horo? Horo? Are you there?" it managed to squeak out before he hung it up.

Running into his sister's room, he yelled, "Pilica, get up! Ren's awake!" before wheeling right around and out of the house, grabbing his coat on the way. He hopped onto his snowboard and zoomed off before the younger girl could even react. When he got there, he ran straight to Ren's room and skidded to a halt next to the bed. Ren was sitting up and turned his head slightly with an unusual smile on his face.


	2. Feelings Changed, Feelings Gained

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER TWO – Feelings Changed, Feelings Gained

"Horo... you came." he said, his voice lacking its usual sternness.

"Of course I did... Why wouldn't I?" he sat in the bedside chair.

"Well, you stopped visiting me a few weeks ago... I thought you'd forgotten me." the Chinese said quietly.

"You...You heard me!" he gasped.

"Yes..." he answered.

"I'm so sorry, Ren. I should have listened to you. I should have tried to help you. I should have done something. It should have been me." he said quickly, his hands clenching in his lap. Ren struggled a bit but managed to move his left hand to Horo Horo, gripping the fists tightly until he relaxed his hands.

"No. Don't worry yourself over the should haves or could haves. Just enjoy life like a precious gift..." his voice faded as his thoughts occupied him.

"Ren?" he asked, eyes searching his face.

"Sorry... What's today?" he asked, attempting to put energy into his words.

"It's January first, 3:00 in the morning. Talk about a wake-up call." he spouted off.

"January first... my birthday..." he mumbled, slowly regaining his normal fierce tone of voice, his eyes narrowing into their usual cat-like state.

"Hey, you're right, it is your birthday! What a weird coincidence! I'll get you a present." Horo said decisively.

"No. I don't want anything." the Chinese shaman said quickly.

"Nonsense! I have to get you something!" the older shaman began but he was cut off.

"No. I don't want a birthday." Ren growled icily. They were silent for a few moments before a nurse came in with Pirika in tow.

"Ren, you're awake! I honestly thought you were going to die here in a coma!" she screeched, running over and hugging him quickly.

"Whatever. When do I leave?" he addressed the nurse who was rushing around the room attending her duties.

"Let's see, you should be fine to leave by tomorrow. The doctor hasn't found anything that would prevent it." she answered him, glancing sympathetically at his immobile arm and legs. He threw her a glare and she averted her eyes in an instant.

"I'm tired." Ren stated, and they all made their way out after saying goodbye.

The remainder of the night, he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling uncaringly, his thoughts consuming him. 'So this is how it feels... Unable to move, unable to think coherently for lengthened periods of time... To be different... My father would kill me... My mother would hate me... My friends would feel sorry for me... Hell, they probably already announced I'm dead... As I go about my daily business, I'll receive stares until they think I notice... The only one who cares is that stupid Horo Horo... No, I'm kidding myself... I noticed the way he looked at me... He wanted to get me something to keep my mind off it... They all thought that my only talent was in my shamanic abilities and physical strength... They think I'm useless... I've become a monster..."

His thoughts continued along the lines of self-loathing and after a while he realized that for the first time in nearly eleven years, he was crying. Tears streamed silently down his face, across his cheeks to settle onto the pillow beneath, and he found that he didn't care. He no longer cared and it made him hate himself even more. He allowed the crystalline drops to make prominent tracks on his cheeks, and for the first time in his entire life, cried himself to sleep.

The next morning, he woke to hear the unmistakable voices of the Usui siblings. He remained silent and kept his eyes closed, listening. "Horo, you aren't going to invite him to stay with us, are you?" Pirika asked.

"Pirika, don't be mean, of course I'm inviting him. He's welcome to stay as long as he likes. Ren needs friends right now. He's always relied on his physical strength and he needs moral support. We have to be his strong anchor to keep him going." Horo Horo scolded her.

"I know we should, but do we have to? He's so mean... He's a selfish, boasting, arrogant, smug jerk with no appreciation whatsoever! He still hasn't thanked you after all you've done for him!" she said loudly.

"Shh, don't wake him!" Horo hissed at her.

Over in his bed, Ren's suspicions were confirmed. 'They hate me... I'm cruel, arrogant, selfish... I'm a burden... They still don't know... Oh, Horokeu, you idiot, why don't you remember...' He allowed his eyes to flash open, and stared unseeing at the ceiling.

"Ren!" the ice shaman exclaimed merrily, flashing a winning smile. Ren continued his inspection of the other side of the wall as though he couldn't see it, and were looking at the clear blue sky beyond.

His thoughts were troubled. 'Look at that smile on your face... That utterly cute smile... Aimed at me... Yet oh so fake... You don't realize, do you...? I know what you think behind that smile... Do you always do this...? Do you always wear that smile, to mask your true thoughts...? You don't know how hard I fell for you, do you...? Have you been toying with my mind...? Playing games with me...? Is everything I thought was real and good in this world a lie...?' His eyes slipped shut and slowly opened again.

"Ren?" he seemed concerned, now.

"...Have you ever wondered how something that seemed so pure could be tainted? You see it, you try to ignore it, like overlooking it will make it vanish, and then one day you find that you can deny it no longer..." the Chinese said, more to himself than to his companion.

"Uhh... not really... You can come home today, though! Isn't it great!" he jumped home...?" he echoed.

"Yeah!" his friend replied.

"...No, Usui... I have no home... I'm a homeless orphan, and I'm not going to stay at your house..." he shut his eyes to block out the pain of the words he was saying.

"But, Ren, how will you make it on your own?" Horo Horo whispered. Sharp, golden eyes snapped open.

"Are you implying that I am at a disadvantage! That I am unable to survive because of my new inabilities! I can't believe I did what I did..." the owner of the eyes snapped, disgusted, and then immediately squeezed his eyes shut in remorse when he saw the older boy cringe.

"W-What do you mean? What did you do?" he asked shakily, almost afraid of the answer.

"Nothing, Usui. If you don't remember it, then you don't..." he sighed but in his thoughts he finished what he was saying. 'At least I made you happy...'

As Ren left, Horo's mind whirled. 'What does he mean...? Remember...? Why do I feel like I've lost my reason to live, and it's wheeling out of this hospital with him...? What's happening to me…? Could this be…love?'


	3. Tension Rising

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER THREE – Tension Rising

Ren's skilled fingers flew over the controller of his electric wheelchair. He had told Horo Horo that he would be returning to school and would see him then. He had gone to his old apartment and found his secret stash of money. With it, he had found himself a small flat near the park. He had bought a few supplies and fallen asleep in his chair, it had been a tiring day.

His dreams tormented him, the crash replaying over and over, the fear still fresh in his mind. Then his dreams turned to his harsh words, and he hated himself more and more. He woke in a cold sweat, and took off for the park. It was pretty early, before school, but several people littered the paths.

He stopped at a small pond and watched the sun rising, the sky a priceless pink. Taking out some things he'd bought, he managed to set up his supplies to paint. He brought the brush lightly over the cloth, carefully stroking it with bright colors. The smell of oil filled his nose and he smiled a bit as he painted the sun rising along a distant horizon, the sky filled with shockingly brilliant hues.

When he'd finished, he packed it up and was getting ready to leave to get ready for school, when two feet planted themselves in front of him and he looked up into black eyes.

Horo went through the school halls, searching for his friend. The bell rang and he was forced to go to homeroom. He anxiously made it to lunch, when he ran from the building frantically. He went to Ren's flat and found it empty and forlorn. Noticing the tracks of tires in the mud, he followed them into the park.

He made his way to a small pond, not very deep, just enough to be over his head in the middle, where he found the small wheelchair lying on its side. The scent of blood overwhelmed his senses and he felt slightly nauseous. He looked around and found a ripped painting with black paint spilt over it, hiding its original beauty.

He glanced up and saw a bridge, and on it, a black-haired boy held the Chinese shaman over the water by his neck. His left hand gripped frantically at the arm holding him, trying desperately to free himself. The boy smiled happily at the useless struggle he put up.

"Ren!" Horo burst into action, running to save his friend. The attacker's head snapped over to Horo, then back to his captive. He pulled him close, whispered something in his ear, and dropped him into the water below.

Turning his attention to the ice shaman, he said, "Leave the Tao alone, he's mine." and ran off. Horo dived quickly into the water and grabbed Ren, dragging him to the surface before paddling to the shore and dragging them both out.

"Ren, are you okay!" he asked breathlessly. Ren didn't answer, his eyes opened for a moment, and Horo saw something he'd never seen before, Ren was crying. Two crystalline tears made their way down his cheeks mixing with dirty pond water before his eyes drifted shut and the darkness took him.

Ren woke with a start and shot up quickly, finding himself in a cushiony bed. Horo Horo bustled in a moment later, carrying a tray with an interesting scented soup in it.

"You're awake! How do you feel?" he asked, setting it on the bedside table.

"Fine. Why am I at your house?" he countered.

"I couldn't find a key to get into your house... Who was that guy that attacked you?" he asked.

"...Did you tell any of my family I was no longer comatose?" he evaded the question. Horo frowned.

"Yeah, we told your sister but she and Lee live in France, so she couldn't come, and we told your parents, but they didn't seem to care... Sorry..." he answered.

"...I see... That's how he knew..." Ren's eyes were hollow and void, actually rather scary.

"Who knew what? Who was that guy? You have to tell me so I can protect you." he demanded.

"He is no concern of yours. I don't need protection." he said quickly, eyes snapping up and widening.

"What did he say to you before he dropped you?" the Ainu asked suspiciously.

"Nothing! I, I have to go." Ren said, again a little too fast for comfort.

"No, Ren, I can't let you leave if that guy is after you." Horo Horo said stubbornly.

"Help me into my chair." The younger teen ordered.

"No." he repeated.

"Let him go, brother. Here, I'll help you." Pirika said from the doorway, stalking over and pulling Ren to his wheelchair before unceremoniously dropping him in it, all the while glaring at him angrily. For once, he was glad the younger girl hated him so. He directed himself out as fast as it would go and straight to his home.

Horo turned to his sister darkly. "Pirika, what the hell are you doing! That guy is still out there, waiting! He could be killed!" he snapped.

"So what? It would be better for us all if he did die! Don't you see? You've thrown away your entire life for him, and what thanks do you get? None! He's a spoiled brat; he's incapable of loving anyone! Besides, if that jerk is after him, do you really think these walls will stop him? He would have come anyway, and you would have gotten hurt trying to protect that bastard!" she yelled.

At that point, Horo was so mad; he gave up most of his moral values and slapped the small girl across the cheek. An angry red mark marred her face, and she stared at him with wide, blue eyes filled with shock. Tears bubbled up in her eyes and she took off down the hall and locked herself in the bathroom, expecting him to come after her to apologize. Minutes passed by and he didn't come.

She snuck out and searched the house, but he was long gone, and several of his things and some food and money were missing. Her puffy eyes fell on a small slip of paper on his bed. It read, _I'm not going to apologize for what I did, it was justified and I don't regret it. I regret having spoiled you enough to act the way you did, and expect me to say I'm sorry. I'm staying at a hotel for a while, and maybe I'll find my own place. It's about time I moved out, anyhow. Oh, and Pil, I'm sorry I failed you as a brother. Love always, Horo Horo._


	4. Loyalty

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER FOUR - Loyalty

Ren sat in his living room, painting. He was painting an unusual piece. It was set in a snowy landscape, a glimpse of the land Horo had grown up in. The bottom half had the ground beautifully strewn with snow, purposely a bit awkwardly angled, with evergreen trees sprinkling it, snow resting on the branches.

The sky, however, was a strange mixture of things. Part of the sky was darkening, as though to signal a storm, and part was an endless sea of pure blue. Some clouds were white as the snow on the ground, and part were gloomy. To complete the picture, a beautiful sunset gave it more color, brilliant brightness shining into the dark.

He set it in a corner and went to his bedroom with a book. He opened his book to read, when a shadow fell over the window, blocking the light. Slowly, he drew his eyes to the glass, already knowing what he would see, yet it still scared him.

A freakish smile was plastered on the older boy's face, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. Ren had no choice but to sit and watch in horror as he broke the window in and climbed through.

In his hotel room, Horo's eyes widened as he felt his sixth sense kicking in. Something was wrong. "Ren..." he breathed and ran out the door.

"Leave me alone, you bastard." Ren gasped as a fist came down into his stomach and he felt the contents of his breakfast rising in his throat. The fist came down again to his stomach, and he struggled to breathe as he spat out the undigested food.

"Why? It's ever so much fun to see you helpless and weak; the pain on your face is priceless. But why stop at physical pain? Your little friend is on his way, and I just cannot pass up the opportunity to destroy everything you hold dear, to see you in complete hopelessness." the boy laughed.

"No, do what you want with me, just leave him alone, he didn't do anything." he begged. (Not exactly BEGGED, it was just the only word that came to mind... I need a thesaurus.)

"Hmm, alright. I won't lay a finger on him, but you will come with me. In fact, I'm so kind, I'll even stay long enough for you to say goodbye to the little freak." he smirked. He delivered a few more punches, and threw the Chinese to the floor, sitting in a seat nearby.

A few minutes later, the ice shaman crashed through the door and ran in, stopping in horror at the sight of his friend's condition. Ren lay on the floor, bruised and bloody, beaten to such a pulp he couldn't lift himself even with his good arm. He was breathing hard and coughed up some blood and looked up at Horo Horo lopsidedly, due to one of his eyes sporting a nasty black mark.

The boy stood and walked over, picking him up by his spike of hair, reveling in the look of pain that spread over his features. "Say goodbye, Renny." he commanded.

"Horo... forget about me... forget I ever existed... don't come after me..." he said, his commanding voice still there, despite his struggle to speak from a split lip and his jaw hanging awkwardly to the side.

"But... Ren..." he whispered, eyes following the trail of a single tear as it made its way down his cheek and fell to the floor.

"How quaint. I'm afraid Ren and I must be going; we have a lot to catch up on. If you decide to join us, my name is Cole Tao." the black-haired boy said and dragged Ren out the window by his hair, not caring about the cuts he got from the broken glass.

"Ren, why? Why don't you want help?" Horo Horo whispered.

He spent the rest of the day in deep thought, sitting on the floor. 'Remember... He said to remember the accident... He said something about his family... Wait, that guy said he was a Tao... Of course...! Ren's father must have sent him to finish him off... Why would he want his own son dead...?'

He glanced over into a corner and saw the silhouette of a painting. Standing, he walked over and picked it up, holding it in the light. His eyes met the familiar landscape of his homeland and the abnormal coloring of the sky. In the corner, he noticed the familiar initials of Ren. He sank to the ground and stared at the swirling hues of the sky. His vision blurred a bit as tears welled up in his eyes...he remembered. He fell into the realm of unconsciousness, the bus crash playing like a horror movie in his mind.

_Horo and Ren sat in the corner in silence. Ren stared out the window, he seemed almost tense, as though he was waiting for something to jump out at him. Two bright headlights flew strangely fast towards them, yet in slow motion. As they drew closer, he realized they weren't going to stop._

_He felt trapped, caught in a hazy swirling of his life. Moments flashed before his eyes, all his memories, regrets, hopes and dreams, unable to see straight. Ren had gotten into the bottom of the seat and yelled for him to follow. He was too scared for rational thought; his whole world consisted of two bright yellow lights coming closer and closer._

_Realizing this, Ren came back up, grabbed his arm, and shoved him down into relative safety, using his own body as a shield. He cried out in pain as sharp, heavy metal crushed his legs beneath it. A sharp bit of rubble was headed for Horo Horo's shoulder, but the Chinese shaman threw his own right arm in the way, taking the blows for him._

"_Goodbye, Horo, I... love you." he whispered loud enough for him to hear, the message for only his ears._

_Unable to register what was happening, Horo had yelled, "No, Ren, don't leave me! I'll die without you!" and then it all went blank._

Horo Horo snapped awake, everything made sense now, but Ren loved him? How could he have forgotten? Then he remembered, Ren was taken by Cole.

He jumped up and ran all the way back to his hotel room. He snatched his board up and grabbed the phone book. He scanned down until he found the name he was searching for. Tao. There were two names listed, one was Ren's flat. He ripped out the page and ran back out the door. He tore through the streets, anger providing adrenalin to his tired body. He came to a large, traditional Chinese house and banged in the door with a swift kick. "Ren! Where are you!" he shouted, prepared for a confrontation.

Elsewhere in the large house, Ren heard the resounding crash and someone yell for him. He prayed whoever it was would not find him in the state he was in, prayed to any god who would listen that it wasn't Horo Horo. Horo rushed in and knelt carefully beside him.

"Usui, you shouldn't have come, you'll end up like this, too." he croaked out in a un-Ren-like voice.

"Ren, I remember. I remember the crash. Are you okay?" he rushed out all in one breathe. Ren looked up at him with dull eyes, the fire of his spirit diminished to a tiny spark. Panic coursed through the Ainu's body as he sensed the emotional pain the Chinese had taken, his soul was battered and he had no will left to fight.

"Just go. I don't matter. I'm a demon. A selfish, bastard demon, with no appreciation." his voice was barely a whisper.

"You heard Pirika, didn't you? Look, just forget her, forget your parents, and forget Cole. We're all that matters, now. I'll always be there for you, I promise." Horo smiled.

"I can't. I just can't believe anymore. This isn't a fairy tale; everything won't be alright in the end. Leave me, it's over." he said unemotionally, though his eyes gained some feeling, silently begging him to understand and do as he said.

"No. I won't do that. Not again. I left you in the bus, I left you in your house, and I can't do it again. I love you too much to let you go." he said determinedly. Ren cringed as the Ainu's hand lightly brushed his cheek, one of many wounds flaring to life with the touch.

"Sorry." he apologized quickly, jerking his hand back.

"No. You didn't do anything. You're too perfect. Too perfect for someone like me." the younger teen said, averting his eyes to the ground.

"Stop it. Stop degrading yourself. Neither of us is perfect alone, but together, maybe we can be." he whispered, tears rimming his eyes. Loud footsteps could be heard approaching fast through the halls. The purple haired shaman's eyes flew to the door and went wide.

"He's coming. Get out of here, now! Don't you see? He'll do worse than kill you! Go!" he hissed quickly, using his good hand to push him away forcefully.

In that moment, Horo Horo saw something he'd never thought he'd see in the strong Chinese boy. Fear. It shone in his eyes, it swept his features, and the vibes filled every corner of the room. Tao Ren does not get scared easily, whatever it was that brought this reaction from him must be terrible indeed.

He nodded slowly and rose, looking back one last time before exiting. The relief shone clearly through the fear and he almost thought he saw the smallest of smiles play across his face, but it vanished quickly when a loud thump was heard. Horo hid behind a potted plant in the hall as Cole stalked into the room and cracked the door slightly behind him. He snuck over to the crack and peered in.

Ren had disguised his fear in the form of a blank, emotionless face. Cole smiled triumphantly. "You see? I told you your lover wouldn't come. I am your master, now. Say it with me, master." he grabbed hold of the smaller boy's chin, but he didn't flinch. He stared up coldly at his relative, and clenched his jaw shut.

"Fine, have it your way. We'll just go through the entire procedure of this morning again." he spat, dropping his hand as he stood and opened a cabinet. He rummaged through it until he found a whip. It had five tails to it and attached to each was either something sharp or burning red hot.

He raised it above his head and brought it crashing down on the younger teen's chest. He dropped the handle and knelt to push the sharp points deeper into his skin. Then he grabbed up the other end and yanked it out forcefully, bits of ripped flesh clinging to it. He repeated this a few times before he grew tired of it and returned to the cupboard, only to bring out a hammer, with which he beat the bloody body into unnatural colors.

"Now say it." Cole growled, eyes narrowing.

Behind the door, Horo Horo winced with every blow, and found he was unable to tear his eyes away from the gory scene or force his body into helping his fallen friend. 'Just say it Ren. Don't let him keep hurting you." he silently begged. The younger Tao stared unseeing at the ground, his soul wavering, yet he said nothing, and it almost seemed as though his mind could not comprehend the order.

"You really want me to hurt you, don't you?" the taller Chinese said wickedly, and knelt to eye level. He snatched Ren's chin up into his hand and squeezed it painfully before pulling him into a fierce kiss. Then he dropped him like one would drop disgusting trash and stood, heading for the door, but stopped halfway there.

"Why? Why do you deny me the one thing I ever asked of you? What does that bastard have that I don't?" he asked angrily, throwing a vase to smash on the floor. Ren's eyes flickered briefly then shut, and his voice forced its way out.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"What? What the hell does that mean? I've always known you, Tao Ren." he spat, whirling to face him.

"Then you know that when I fall for someone, I fall for good. I fell rock bottom for him, and he's the only one who will ever hold my heart. I could never love you. Horokeu Usui is my opposite in every way, and extremely annoying and stupid, but every attribute of his compliments mine, and vice versa... and he, is ALWAYS there for me, just when I fall as far as I can go." he said, eyes opening to stare straight into the other shaman's eyes. Horo Horo felt himself choking up; he never knew how much he affected the Chinese shaman.

"If I can't have you, no one will. I'll kill that son of a bitch!" he yelled, slamming a fist into the wall, denting it.

"You may take this body, but my soul lives for him, and therefore, dies with him." the younger said, eyes closing and his muscles relaxing as he felt his mind becoming fuzzy.

The enraged shaman grabbed the shorter by his hair and pulled him to another door in the room, dragging him down some stairs. Horo hid again as Cole stalked out and slammed his way out of the house. He waited a minute before scurrying down to the basement, where Ren was chained to the wall, a pool of blood forming slowly beneath him. He was smiling strangely into the dark.

"Horo... I'm sorry I never said goodbye... or I love you... I hope you realize I was just trying to protect you from my fate... I'll never forget you, wherever you are..." his voice trailed off and tears streamed slowly down his face. The ice shaman sat carefully next to his friend, gently brushing his cheek with his finger, causing the younger to shiver.

"I told you to go... you idiot." he smiled lightly.

"You know I never listen to you... you Spike-Head." he grinned back; he stood and looked around, spotting a medicine cabinet. He snatched out the first aid kit and extra bandages. He wrapped the many wounds in a temporarily suitable fashion and after using his furyoku to break the locks, swept the wounded shaman into his arms, holding him closer than necessary.

He managed to get back to his hotel room without further trouble and lay Ren on the single bed. He pulled out his bandages and set to work tending the ripped skin properly, stitching up some bits. An hour later, a knock came at the door. Horo Horo opened it to reveal a certain German doctor they knew, accompanied by his lovely assistant and wife.

"Faust? Eliza? What are you doing here?" he asked in surprise.

"We were passing through on our way to deliver a transfer heart to a man in Africa, and heard you could use a doctor. I believe we may be of some assistance." the man asked with a good-natured smile. Horo stepped aside and the two set to work. After examining him, Faust spoke up.

"I must perform some surgeries immediately. I will require you to leave for a while. It's perfectly safe, I've done it many times before, and his life is in no danger. In fact, I'll even be doing something special..." he said reassuringly. The ice shaman nodded slowly and sat outside the door.

Hours later, Eliza appeared, shaking him gently to wake him. "He's asleep, now, but fine, and it was a success." she smiled secretively. Horo frowned and walked in. Ren was sleeping peacefully in the bed, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. The two doctors had somehow slipped out silently, so the snowboarder made himself comfortable and fell asleep in an arm chair.

"Horo Horo." Ren said with a smile as he watched the exhausted shaman snoring lightly, curled up in a chair, it being late at night. A few minutes later, Horo blinked his eyes open slowly, feeling the tiger-like eyes on him, a smile gracing his lips as he focused on the purple-haired boy looking at him.

"Why didn't you sleep in the bed?" Ren asked with a smirk. Horo's eyebrows lifted.

"Well, I thought you needed it more..." he said, scratching the back of his head.

Ren's expression turned sly and he said, "Come over here and get in the damn bed." He scooted over and his eyes turned wide.

"Horo... I can move my legs... I can move my arm..." he said, staring at them and watching himself move, the joints sliding neatly as they should.

"What?" they both stared in shock until it dawned on the snowboarder.

"It must have been what Faust and Eliza did. They came by earlier and did surgery on you." Horo said, amazed.

Ren nodded in acceptance then returned the sly look to his face and patted the spot on the bed beside him. Horo's face turned bright red but he slipped under the covers with the Chinese teen. Ren turned to him, supporting his weight on his elbow and gazed at the bluenette adoringly.

"What?" Horo Horo stammered, feeling self-conscious under the piercing yellow eyes.

"You're so beautiful." Ren breathed. He reached a hand and lifted Horo's chin, moving closer to the overheating body.

He gently pressed his lips against Horo's. Stunned for a moment, the ice shaman regained his senses and wrapped his arms around Ren's waist, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Cautiously, Ren parted his lips when Horo's tongue poked out, hesitantly allowing him to taste his mouth.

Suddenly Ren pulled away and fell on his butt on the ground, crawling backwards until he hit the wall, his eyes wide with fear. Horo stared at his lover. Had he done something wrong?

"I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me..." Ren said shakily, his face buried in his arms and his knees pulled close. His huddled form shook a bit and it was a while before Horo realized Ren was crying he padded over and sat beside him.

"Are you alright? Was it something I did?" he asked, placing an arm around the crying shaman.

"No, it's me. I just can't...can't..." he broke off into racking sobs and turned his body away.

"Ren... Please don't hide from me... You're not alone anymore, I'm here for you. You can cry on my shoulder." Horo said, an aching pain in his heart, he hated to see Ren like this. Ren swung around and buried his face in Horo's chest, desperately clinging to his shirt. Horo Horo hugged him tightly, whispering soothing words in his ear and patting his back lightly.


	5. Evil Never Sleeps

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER FIVE – Evil Never Sleeps

The night turned out to be a long and sleepless one for Ren, memories and threats plaguing his thoughts. Eventually, however, exhaustion won the battle and his body fell into the realm of dreams.

The next morning Horo found himself making pancakes, flapjack style. This proved a more difficult feat than he originally expected, however, and he ended up ordering food service after a few hours of scraping pancakes off the walls and ceiling. He lay out the feast on the bed and sat cross-legged, simply watching Ren as he slept.

'How lucky I must be to have someone as beautiful as him.' he thought wistfully. Suddenly, Ren's breathing quickened and he jerked a bit, sweat accumulating on his forehead.

"Ren! Ren, wake up!" he yelled, shaking him. His yellow eyes snapped open and he shrank back in terror, curling up in a protective ball.

"Don't! Please don't!" he begged pitifully.

"Don't what? Ren, what's going on?" he asked gently. Ren stayed silent and eventually sat up, acting as though nothing had happened, though every now and then he glanced warily at his lover.

"Ren, I think it's time we had a talk and you told me the truth. The whole truth. I think I at least deserve to know what's going on between you and Cole." Horo Horo said, staring unwaveringly into the cat-like eyes. Ren swallowed and looked down at the suddenly interesting sheets, and nodded.

"Cole is... my cousin. He fell in love with me, apparently, but you know what 'love' is like in my family. It soon grew into an obsession. He followed me, watched me, and finally I found out that he'd put up video cameras in my room and bathroom. Well, you know me and my privacy thing, so I told him to fuck off. I thought he was over it, but it seems he's been waiting for revenge.

When you told my parents, they must have sent him here to get rid of me. They could never accept someone so weak as their own; they probably didn't want me to live on with the name of Tao. When he dropped me into the pond, he told me that he would come for me again, but that if you interfered, he would kill you. I... I couldn't let that happen, so I treated you like scum. It was the only way I could think of to get you out of harm's way. I had hoped you wouldn't come back for me, but you did. While you were gone, he... he... you know..." he said, a deep blush rising to his cheeks, and he looked down, biting his lower lip and unable to make eye contact.

"He... what?" Horo was clueless. Ren mumbled something incoherent.

"Huh?" the Ainu asked.

"He raped me..." Ren hung his head in shame.

"Ren... I'm sorry! I should have gotten there sooner! This is all my fault!" Horo said, pulling his lover into a tight embrace.

"Horo, stop it! It's not your fault! What's with you and blaming yourself?" he asked, glaring into blue eyes.

"Well, I thought you would blame me... It just seems as though everyone always blames me for anything that goes wrong. They automatically assume that I'm going to screw things up. My parents always expected the worst from me, and blamed me for everything, even if Pilica did it. Then you always seemed to blame me when we fought..." he said.

"You are an idiot. I never expected anything from you, good or bad. You're just... you. Sure, sometimes you jack things up, and I'm always acting perfect, but you know people, and I never will. I fought with you because I was jealous. You had loving family, friends, and no real expectations, whereas I was always expected to be perfect. Always held to high standards and beaten if I didn't meet expectations. I wanted you to feel like I felt; angry, hurt, and useless. Like you told me, no one's perfect, but maybe together we can be." Ren said, and then laughed.

"What are you laughing about?" Horo asked.

"It's just; I just made up that whole corny speech. How cheesy can this get before we die of the sappiness of it all? It's just like a frickin' fairytale, only gayer, literally." Ren explained. Horo Horo remained silent for a moment before cracking up with laughter as it sank in.

"I guess now is when we live happily ever after." he joked, chuckling. However, the smiles were wiped off of their faces completely when two angry teens entered the room.

"Oh, I think not. Now is when the true hero of the story comes back into play to reclaim his only love from the villainous blue-haired Ainu that screwed around in his business. I guess I aught to thank you for giving my Renny his ability to walk back, but now is when I am going to have to take back my love." Cole said dangerously, a dark ferocity burning in his eyes.


	6. Rahu Awakens

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER SIX – Rahu Awakens

Beside him, Pilika stood with an unsure look on her face. "Onii, I'm sorry, he came looking for Ren. I had to tell him. He threatened to kill me and you and it's for your own good, anyway. You've become obsessed with him, and he can't be good for you, so it's better for us all if you just let Cole take him back to where he belongs in China, with his family." she said unemotionally.

"Pilika, you little bitch! I love him! I'm sorry; Cole, but you can't have him! He's mine, and I'm his, and we love each other! You can't just take that away from us! He's the only person who never expected me to screw up, who always expected me to do the best that it was in my power to do! You'll have to take him over my dead, lifeless body, and through my spirit! I will fight for him with every section of my being, in this life, or the next!" Horo yelled, standing in front of Ren.

"How amusing, he's going to try to stop me. Do you really believe you could beat me? You could not strike fear into the heart of a Tao! I can, and have, and even now, the Tao over there is white with fear!" Cole smirked.

Horo glanced back to see Ren ten shades paler and shaking, his eyes downcast. A moment passed when he thought Ren would actually give in to his fear and leave him, but that disappeared when tiger eyes snapped up, anger burning brightly in them. 'He's not shaking in fear... He's angry!' Horo thought. Turning back, he could see Cole's shock was even greater than his own.

"That's it! Look, Cole, I hate you! I hate you more than my father, even! You bastard! You have ruined everything good in my life, and just when I think I may have found some form of relief, you destroy it! No more! It ends here!" Ren yelled, standing. His body shook with rage and his eyes were clouded to an almost black color. In his hand, a blade had formed of pure furyoku, a large black spirit control flaming about his entire body.

"Wha-! Spirit Control! What spirit is it!" Cole stuttered a bit. Everyone backed up from the Tao as black mist seeped through the room and it became instantly freezing. Clouds formed above and lightning and thunder crashed in them threateningly. When Ren spoke again, his voice was not his own.

"The time has come at last! The time when the powers of light and dark, good and evil, have merged within a Tao! The prophecy will be fulfilled through the body of this one. One who has the capacity to see the future, to summon spirits, to integrate, the powers of a shaman, the furyoku of one so young, so alive, yet so bitter. One Tao, who has learned the true meaning of love, yet was always denied the one thing he longed for. For a Tao does not, can not, love. He has seen the way to darkness, his choice is made, and all shall perish before the might of Rahu!"

"Rahu! The harbinger of the Shaman Tournament! It means... Destruction!" Pilika said.

"But... What about Ren? What did you do to my Ren!" Horo yelled, not caring that he was yelling at the god of destruction.

"Him? He is irrelevant. He was only my means of ruling this pathetic planet. He knew of the power he held, but he was biding his time to use me. He didn't truly want to be Shaman King as badly as he gave you reason to believe. It was a means to an end. He was chosen at birth to be the outlet of my power, but first he had to learn to love. As you know, where I go, Ketu must follow. And so the Tao has finally embraced his destiny, and Rahu and Ketu have returned to their rightful places as rulers of the world of men and shamans!" he laughed maliciously.

"Now you will die!" he growled, lunging at Horo.

"Nooooo!" Cole shouted and jumped in front of him, sharp claws tearing through his flesh.

"Horo, he truly loves you. If it comes down to it, use that to protect yourself and strike. If you do not strike with all your mind and heart made up, the world will fall and Ren will be lost forever." Cole choked out between labored breaths before his body drooped over the flaming sword. Most of the sword disappeared and he fell limply to the floor, blood pooling into the carpet. Ren laughed in satisfaction and jumped off out the window.

"...Kororo. Spirit Form. Into the board..." Horo whispered halfheartedly. His koropokkuru flared to life into a small spirit control, his board floating a foot above the ground. He hesitantly jumped on and pulled Pilika with him, flying out the window following the black clouds.


	7. Challenges

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER SEVEN - Challenges

Horo Horo flew rapidly over skyscrapers and busy highways as he followed a trail of destruction. Outwardly, he was determined and fine, but on the inside, he was screaming. 'Ren, I can't kill you... I really couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd rather kill myself than allow any harm to come to you... but what do I do? I can't allow Rahu to take over the world, either. What would you do, Ren? ...I know, you'd destroy Rahu, but you were always so much stronger than me, I don't know if I can...' his mind tormented him without ceasing, and before he knew it, he had come to a waterfall, far from the city borders. He brought his board to a stop and glanced about warily.

"I knew you'd come... And now, we are far from the city, no one will hear you scream..." a menacing voice laughed maliciously.

"Show yourself, Rahu!" Horo yelled, surprising himself with his clear voice.

"You want the boy? Come back here and get him..." a chuckling was heard and something flashed behind the curtain of water.

"Pilika, stay here." Horo Horo ordered as he dropped her onto the soft dirt and zoomed in, but stopped once again when he was inside.

"Stupid boy..." someone snarled, and something flashed somewhere, but it was impossible to tell where because everywhere he looked was made of mirror. Shards and shards of reflections stared at him, no matter where he turned.

"Shall we play a game? I'm slowly killing the Tao's soul, you know, but there is a way to save him. Find your way through the mirrors, several challenges lie in wait, if you choose the correct path, make your way through the gate. Some hints are given, some you must find, but remember this, you must come in time. In one hour I destroy what you seek, so you better get moving, time wastes as we speak." it rasped.

"Do you think this is some kind of joke! Stop playing around!" Horo shouted, his voice echoing through the cave.

"I like this fun, so much suffering. However, if you'd like to turn back now, you may, and I will do away with his impudent soul." Rahu said, and he could almost see the sneer on his face.

"Fine. Play it your way, but I won't give up." he snapped, breaking off his spirit control. He walked forward and ran straight into a wall. He turned another direction and hit a wall. He hit another wall and got impatient.

"Damn my eyes! Wait... My eyes! If I don't use them," he pulled his headband down over his azure orbs, "I can find the way." he approached the wall again, this time intent on finding the correct way through his fingers. Feeling his way along, he methodically weaved around the room until he found the crack of a way. He slipped through and lifted his blindfold.

Suddenly, the smell of blood reached his nose and he stepped toward it. With every step, the scent became keener and more overpowering, and he was tempted to revisit his breakfast, but he forced himself to continue on. When he looked down he saw it. First a drop, then another, and a few more before a puddle of the crimson liquid.

Lying in the middle of it was the pale form of Tao Jun, her eyes glassy with death and her mouth forever frozen into a scream of horror. Horo fell to the ground and wretched when he saw this, and to the side of her was a beheaded Bailong. He heard a small splash of liquid and looked up to see his love, tears streaming down his face as he looked at his blood stained hands.

Hazy eyes caught his and Ren fell to the ground in twisted agony, curling on himself before lying flat, breathing in short gasps. His body convulsed in an inner battle and his muscles twitched, his eyes rolling back in his head as he struggled to speak. "Ho...ro... go... now...he can't kill my... soul... yet..." he was cut off as a coughing fit attacked him and he went unconscious.

"Ren!" Horo called as he bent over him, checking for life. The Chinese shaman's eyes snapped open and a look of rage settled over him. He grasped Horo's neck and stood up, holding him an inch or two above the ground.

"You haven't finished the game, yet. You pathetic humans think you can just walk in here and stop the mighty Rahu! Ketu couldn't even stop me!" he growled, dropping Horo unceremoniously to the ground. Cole's words came floating back to him. 'Horo, he truly loves you. If it comes down to it, use that to protect yourself and strike. If you do not strike with all your mind and heart made up, the world will fall and Ren will be lost forever.'

"Ren. I know you're in there. I know what I have to do. Take control. Fight him for me, and I'll set you free." Horo said, crystalline tears falling off his cheeks to mix with the blood below. Everything seemed to stop for a moment when darkened eyes turned light gold and Ren held off Rahu for the split second Horo needed as he plunged a black sword deep into his stomach. The dark mist in his eyes cleared completely as Ren gasped, choking on his own blood, eyes wide with pain as one last tear trailed down his pale cheek.

"Ren... I'm sorry... I love you..." Horo whispered as he removed the weapon.

"Arigatou, Horokeu Usui. You have given up the one thing you loved most for the good of mankind. Such self-sacrifice is rare. Let me help you, as you have helped me. I am Ketu, Goddess of Destiny." A glowing white spirit ball said softly, and Ren's wounds were healed.

"Ren!" he exclaimed, and hugged him close, relieved to feel him hug tightly back.

"Not so fast! You may have forced us back to the skies, but I'll leave you a little present, as well!" A black spirit ball, Rahu, rasped before disappearing like Ketu.

"Wonder what that was all about?" Horo said.

"Horo, I, I killed my sister. I killed her." Ren sobbed shakily.

"No, Ren, it was an illusion. Look." Horo motioned and Ren saw that it all disappeared and they were merely in an empty cave.

"I love you, Horo." Ren smiled.

"I love you, too, Ren." Horo said as he closed the gap between their lips. Little did they know, that was exactly the thing that would bring a curse upon them of a terrible nature, for Rahu's threats are not to be taken lightly...


	8. Sisterly Love

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER EIGHT – Sisterly Love

Pilika Usui had always looked up to her older brother, as every good sister does. She admired him for his determination in his dreams, though at times it could turn him into a stubborn fool. She had known for some time now that her brother was thinking of leaving, and didn't have the heart to tell her.

He didn't need her anymore; he had grown up in that year since the accident. She knew in her heart that Ren was the best thing that had ever happened to Horo Horo, but she wouldn't, couldn't, accept it. With Ren in the picture, Horo would leave her, of that she was sure.

She had done everything in her power to protect her brother, but it all seemed to be in vain. She had told the Tao to back off before the accident, she had warned him not to get in her way, but he wouldn't listen. So she took it a bit further. She hired a hit man. She hadn't meant for it to go that far, but it did. She almost lost her brother.

She thought that would be the end of it, there, but that stupid Chinese shaman had to get up again. So she called Tao Cole, hired him to get rid of the Tao that was ruining her perfect world. She hadn't meant for Rahu to show up, but he did. Now, if her brother died, she knew it would be all her fault.

Silently, she tiptoed into the room of mirror. Using her surprising geometry skills, she found the door easily from the angles of the reflections. When she stepped through, she was just in time to see the space between her brother and Ren close as they shared their first real kiss. She watched, feeling her heart bursting into hundreds of thousands of pieces as they turned to stone on the spot.

She ran up to them and tried to revive them, but it was no use. Because of her jealousy, her brother and his true love were reduced to a bit of fine, chiseled art. Hot tears bubbled up in her eyes and she sat on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest.

It was midnight and she still hadn't moved, when a light tune floated about the cave. It was sad and sorrowful, and only made her feel worse, because it was the song of her stone brother. He had played it for her once, a long time ago...

!FLASHBACK!

Horo ended the short song on his lute, his eyes glistening. He looked up to see his younger sister crying in her nightdress. "Pilika..." he muttered, putting an arm around her bare shoulders.

"What are you doing out here this late without proper clothing?" he asked.

"Mommy and daddy are fighting again. D-Daddy hit mommy and she didn't get up. He told me to come get you, onii-chan." she sniffled and shivered. Her brother's eyes widened.

"Pilika, was mommy's chest moving? Did daddy start packing?" he asked urgently. She nodded sadly.

"Daddy says we're going to the city." she said.

"...Pilika, stay here, okay?" he said gravely. She nodded again in obedience, confused about what was going on. He stalked off with his snowboard toward their house. Minutes seemed like hours and Pilika was freezing. Determined to obey, however, she started following a bug as it hopped on the ground.

Suddenly, she went flying through the air and landed harshly in knee-deep snow. Her little head swiveled to focus on her father's rage-filled face. "You little bitch!" he shouted at her, taking a menacing step forward. Her eyes went wide in fear and she saw her brother lying to the side in the snow, unconscious.

"Otou-san?" she stuttered, her toddler mind trying to understand why her father was angry at her.

"I will kill you!" he yelled, his eyes filled with an anger she could not comprehend. She stumbled to her brother, shaking his still form.

"Onii! Onii!" she sobbed. A large hand grabbed the back of her nightgown and she was lifted and thrown again into the cold powder. She covered her head and waited for a blow that never came. Looking up, she saw her brother standing on his board between her and their father.

"You will not touch her again." he growled between clenched teeth.

"Get out of my way, boy!" the taller man yelled, stomping forward. Horo flew up higher and released a spray of ice, freezing his father where he stood. He jumped off his board and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked kindly. She nodded numbly.

"C'mon, Pilika, that won't hold him for long. We gotta get out of here." he said. That night they reached an Ainu village, miles away from their small cabin. The kind Ainu race immediately accepted them, as their mother had come from there, and they took up their roles in society. Their first night, Pilika lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Pilika, are you okay?" her brother asked worriedly.

"Is daddy gonna come kill me? Where's mommy?" she asked. He sighed.

"I'll never let that bastard get you. You remember when mommy sang to you about death not being the end? Well, it's not. Mommy's watching us, so we gotta be good, okay?" he told her.

"I can't remember mommy's singing voice. She never sang ever since dad started yelling." she whispered.

"Here, then, you just go to sleep. I'll play, Tears of Crystal, that song mom always sang, okay?" he waited for her to close her eyes before he skillfully played the sad melody...

!END FLASHBACK!

She was brought out of her reminisce by an insistent ringing from her pocket. She hesitantly brought the cell phone to her ear. "Hello?" she croaked.

"Pilika! Am I too late! I had a premonition that Horo and Ren were turned to stone and you cured them!" Tamao exclaimed on the other end.

"You know how to cure them!" she asked, getting excited.

"Not exactly, I know where you get the cure!" Tamao said hopefully.

"Tam, you're the best! Where?" Pilika asked in joy, jumping up.

"That's the problem. It's in the Land of the Stars." she said.

"Then why the hell did you call me!" she asked angrily.

"Yoh can get you in. He is the Shaman King, after all." the shy girl said happily.

"Just meet us at Patch Village in two days!" she instructed.

"Bye!"

"Bye!" Pilika happily bounded out of the cave, she was going to save her brother.


	9. Land of Stars

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER NINE – Land of Stars

"Pilika!" Tamao yelled as they caught sight of the blue-haired Ainu girl.

"Anna! Tamao! Yoh!" Pilika bounced up to the group.

"So, about the curse..." Tamao started.

"Yes, Onii-chan and Ren are both turned to stone!" Pilika said.

"Hey, Pilika! Let's save your brother, then! You and I are going to have to go alone, though. I've never tried to bring anyone else to the Land of Stars before, so I'm not sure if the Great Spirit is okay with a lot of people." Yoh explained. Pilika nodded. They set off to the entrance to the Land of Stars.

"Ne, Pilika?" Yoh started.

"Hai?" she answered.

"How did this happen?" Yoh asked.

"...It's all my fault. I thought I was protecting him, but everything I do just hurts him and now I may have lost him forever." Pilika said quietly, tears springing to her eyes.

"Pilika... Everything will turn out alright in the end!" Yoh said reassuringly. They walked through to the Land of Stars. When they ended up in the barren wasteland of the Great Spirit's realm, she looked around.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Land of Stars. You expected something else?" Yoh asked.

"Well... I kind of expected it to be a bit more sparkly, or something. Where do you think the cure is?" she asked.

"Hmm... I don't know. Let's ask the Great Spirit." he suggested and they headed for the source of the light. When they reached the Great Spirit, Yoh spoke.

"Great Spirit? Do you know how to cure two that have been cursed by Rahu into stone?" he asked.

"It's that simple? You just ask?" Pilika's jaw dropped.

"When you want to know something, don't you ask?" Yoh asked her.

"I guess. I guess I just keep expecting something more surprising." Pilika answered.

"Shh... it speaks..." Yoh whispered, closing his eyes as though allowing waves to wash over him. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and turned to her.

"Pilika. Great Spirit will merge with me to cure them of their stone, but there is a problem. You must choose one of them to forget everything." he said.

"Forget... Everything?" she asked.

"Hai... Rahu is quite the powerful being, and the curse cannot fully be broken. One must forget everything. Perhaps a test of their love?" Yoh suggested.

"How did you know?" she asked in shock.

"It was obvious ever since the accident. If Horo were truly only his friend, why would he continue to hold faith when he was told I did not?" Yoh asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked, bewildered.

"I mean I saw the spark of something greater than friendship, and I tested it. I knew Ren would be fine and wake up, but I told you I gave up to test my theory of his love out. Now choose." Yoh said.

"You choose. I can't! Which would you choose?" she asked, torn.

"Pilika. You want them cured, you decide. This is your test of strength. It is your choice, and yours alone. I cannot make it for you. If you can make this choice and walk this path alone, you will prove to yourself that you don't need your brother there to live your life." he told her.

Her choice. But, which one could she choose? If her brother forgot everything, he would not know her and Ren would be angry. If Ren forgot everything, Horo would be angry. But, then Ren would not have to remember the pain of his past.

"I have decided. I choose Ren to forget, and Horo to remember. Now cure them." she said. Yoh nodded.

"As you wish." he said, merging in a flash of light with Great Spirit and curing the two, then sending Great Spirit back. He stood there as the mist cleared, breathing heavily and leaning on a stick.

"It is done. Go to your brother." he ordered her.

"But, Yoh, you-!" she began, but he cut her off.

"Go!" he urged, and she took off running.


	10. Love and Forgotten Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER TEN – Love and Forgotten Memories

"Yoh..." a small voice called out gently.

"A-Anna." Yoh answered, trying to stand straight, but failing.

"Stop it, you'll hurt yourself." she ordered.

"Hai. What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came to get you. I knew you shouldn't be integrating with the Great Spirit, yet. You're going to kill yourself if you keep stressing your body by trying to help people like this." she told him.

"Anna... I can't just ignore problems like you do." he said.

"I know... demo... you always ignore problems closer to home." she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Don't you get it? I need you... we need you." she said quietly.

"We?" he asked, realization slowly dawning on him.

"Hai. I'm pregnant, Yoh. You're going to be a father." she smiled faintly.

"I... I'm going to be a father? I'm gonna be a father... Oh, Anna! I love you so much!" he cried happily, pulling her down to the ground with him in a loving hug.

"Hello, there, baby! I'm gonna be your daddy! I can't wait for you!" he said, rubbing her stomach affectionately.

Meanwhile, Pilika ran into the cave, out of breath and winded. She expected to find her brother sobbing senselessly on the ground. To her horror, she saw that his emotional barriers had already hardened his heart to protect it while he slowly recovered once more.

It was the same thing he'd done after they lost their mother to an abusive father and their father to hypothermia, only then it wasn't so bad because he could throw himself into taking care of her. She was his crutch that he used to bring himself back after that, yet she knew that deep inside he still blamed himself for killing his father. Neither of them had ever liked him, but murder never sat well on Horo's conscience.

Now Horo stood with a resolved look on his face, refusing to acknowledge his pain. If he ignored it, he could forget it ever happened.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan, I'm so sorry!" she began to cry, hugging him closely to her. His face never changed, he looked at her with uncaring cerulean orbs.

"Forgive me, Horo! Onegai! Please forgive me!" she sobbed into his chest.

"Let's go." he said coldly, stalking out of the dark cave.

"Stop it, Horo! Stop acting like it doesn't affect you! Stop pretending it didn't happen! Stop living in that dream world where Ren not remembering you doesn't hurt!" she yelled, struggling to catch up. He whipped around, glaring viciously at her.

"How the hell did you know that!" he snapped. She stopped in front of him, shocked.

"Because... Because I did it. I had to choose one of you to forget everything to cure you of stone. And it was my fault that you were turned to stone! And it was my fault Cole ever came after Ren! And it was my fault that Ren went into a coma! I did it! I wanted to fucking kill him! I wanted him dead! He was ruining our lives! He was getting too close! We can't trust others, Horo. We can only trust ourselves, only family. He was going to take you away from me! He was going to steal you from me! I love you! I'm in love with you! I've been having fucking rated Triple X dreams of you since I was ten! I've been spying on you since I was eleven! I love you!" she yelled, shrilly. Horo's icy face faded in surprise.

"What?" he choked out.

"I did it. If I could go back, I'd do it again, only the right way." she sobbed.

"I can't believe you. I can't fucking believe you! You little bitch! You ungrateful whore! After all I did... after I killed my own father... you were the one who tried to destroy the only one who ever really mattered to me?" tears welled up in his azure eyes and he sank to his knees.

"You would just betray my love and trust like that? How could you?" he asked, looking quite stricken.

"No, Horo. I did it for you. I did it for us. I did it because I love you so much. He would have hurt you. I was trying to protect you." she said softly, going to her knees as well and bringing him into her arms. She held his head to her developing chest and brushed her cheek against his soft, messy hair as her hands began to roam down his chest. Suddenly, he became aware and shoved her roughly away.

"Love? LOVE! You don't know shit about love! You don't know how it feels to pine for someone for a whole year, not even knowing if he'd even live! You don't know what it's like to watch him die so fucking many times! To wish you could do something, ANYTHING, to help him, but find that you can only sit back and watch! He was the only one who ever believed in me. Love is being willing to die for him, or even give him up if only to see him happy. I... I hate you. I can't even begin to describe how much I hate you right now. I can't even look at you." he turned sharply and ran off.

"Horo..." Pilika burst into a new round of tears, her heart crushed.

Horo Horo ran with all his might. He ran with every last ounce of strength in him. He didn't know where he was going; he just needed to get away from her. He needed to find a place to just think. Things were going too fast, and he didn't even know why Ren didn't remember him. Ren... What would happen to his love; all alone with no recollection of anything?

He willed his mind to stop its racing and just concentrated on running. His mind filled with the constant beat of his shoes on the hard, packed dirt, his short gulps of air. He concentrated on breathing, the feeling of his lungs quickly filling and deflating. Thud, thud, in... Thud, thud, out... Over and over, the pattern never stopping; the only thing that ever seemed to stay the same in his life. His fists clenched into tight balls, moving back and forth as his ran, eyes on the distant horizon. Legs pumping, burning with the effort it took as he ran on, never looking back.

Finally, he could go no further and he collapsed in a heap on the ground, trying desperately to fill his lungs with life-giving oxygen. He glanced around; finding himself near the bridge Ren had been dropped off of. Standing on the bridge stood a lone, familiar figure. The youngest Tao stood there, leaning on the rail and staring sadly into the depths of the misty water. Quickly recovering, Horo dragged himself to his feet and slowly walked over, either unnoticed or unacknowledged by the other. He leaned on the railing beside the object of his affection, every now and then glancing at him.

"Hey, there." he said softly.

"Who am I?" Ren asked to no one in particular.

"I think you should figure that out yourself... But I'll try to help." Horo said.

"Please...Please help me." Ren pleaded. Horo felt a jab of pain in his heart at how helpless Ren sounded.

"Don't worry. I'm here for you. I always have been." he whispered, pulling him into a gentle hug. After a brief moment of hesitation, Ren slowly hugged him back, bringing his arms around his waist. As one of Horo's hands held the boy close to him, the other drifted into silky violet locks, running them through his fingers. He held Ren close, burning the feeling into his memory for fear it would slip away into oblivion.

"Tell me about myself." the Chinese said as they pulled away, a small smile gracing his lips.

"Where shall I start?" Horo asked.

"The beginning, I guess." Ren said.

"Alright, then. You were born in China, in a large estate nestled between the mountains, on January first. You were born into a family of shamans, links between this world and the next, and you were always expected to be perfect. You were the heir to a large fortune, you see, belonging to a famous family that for generations had been engaged in the dark history of China, Tao family. It made its reputation as killing machines, using its shamanic powers to carry out assassinations, espionage, spying, and war.

However, as civilization matured, humans feared your family's power, and banished them to the mountains, where they were lost in China's past. You were the one upon whom the task was placed, to bring Tao family back to its former glory, and rule the world with a strong hand.

Every five hundred years, there is a contest for shamans, the Shaman Tournament, to determine the Shaman King, ruler of all shamans. The Great King of Spirits will make the world however the Shaman King wants it to be. Anyway, you were expected to win, so you were sent here, to Japan, with your Chinese warlord spirit, Bason.

All your life, your father fed you a load of shit about spirits being tools to use to your advantage, and that they had no feelings and must be dominated. He told you that weakness was failure, and failure was unacceptable. He taught you to be a killing machine, never allowed you to get close to others, claiming it was weakness; all because he just couldn't trust others because of Tao family history." Horo began as they walked out of the park, heading for the hotel. Ren's face remained impassive as he soaked this in.

"Please, continue." he urged when he saw the Ainu staring at him intently, searching for any sign of his feelings.

"When you got here, I don't know much of the details, but, you met Yoh Asakura, and he whooped your ass in battle. Then, the Tournament actually began, and we all made it into the preliminaries. I was staying at the Asakura house with Yoh, his fiancée Anna, and our midget human friend Manta, whenever I could sneak away from Pilika, my younger sister. You were staying in an expensive apartment with you older sister, Jun. Jun is the only nice person in your family, and was always closest to you.

Then you and Yoh tied in your third battles and we all got to go to the second round. That was the night we first met. We were all having dinner in celebration of our passing. Tamao was there, because she crushed on Yoh, and you called me stupid. So I was going to call you a name, but I didn't know who you were. You said, 'Tao Ren. Don't you forget it.' So I pushed you over and we got in a fight, one of many to come thenceforward. We bickered in good fun and you'd always call me Ainu-baka while I made comments about your hair.

That night, you left for China to challenge your father and destroy the hate he had branded you with. But he was too strong, and locked you in the dungeon. Yoh, Manta, Ryu and I came to your rescue and we all defeated En, your father. Then we met your mom, Ran, and grandfather, Ching. They were okay, though a little confused.

So along the second round we met Lyserg; he left us later to join the X-Laws, some people with priority issues. After he left, we met Chocolove, a comedian who tells boring jokes and laughs at them. Then Faust VIII came along and joined us. When we got to Patch Village, we had to split into three-person groups, and you registered you, Chocolove and me as Team The Ren. We won our battles, but then we all had to beat Hao, Yoh's older identical twin brother, because he tried to steal the Great Spirit and create an all-shaman-who-are-strong-enough world.

Well, before we got there, we fought his goons. Yoh was ahead, and we had to help him, but I got hit down. I would have been killed, but you jumped in front of me, holding back the blow. You actually died for a while, but we worked together to bring you back, with Lyserg's help again. Then we caught up to Yoh just as Hao stole his soul, and fought him until Yoh came back. Then Yoh beat him and the Tournament was put on hold. We all went home to our past lives until the Oracle Bells rang again. So we fought again, and Yoh became Shaman King.

Yoh, Anna, Manta, and Tamao moved to Patch Village for training, Pilika and I watched over the Funbari Onsen while they were gone, Jun went to France, Ryu lived on the road, Chocolove lived in New York City, Faust took up doctoring again, Lyserg went back to England, and hell knows what became of Hao. You stayed at your apartment here, saying it was for educational purposes, but I think you just dreaded meeting your father again." Horo stated as they entered the lobby of the fairly large hotel.

"Where are we?" Ren asked, glancing around.

"Just a temporary home, if you can even call it that. I had to get away from my sister. I needed some independence, and I couldn't face her, so I came here to think things through." Horo explained as he unlocked the door. Faint traces of a scuffle still remained and the bed was still unmade from the previous night.

"What did you DO!" Ren asked, showing off a bit of a Ren-like personality as he looked about the disheveled room in disgust. Horo chuckled slightly, glad to see some sign of the old perfectionist Ren was.

"I was just getting to that." he said, slumping into the armchair as Ren settled down on the bed. Ren looked on in interest.

"One day, I wanted you to go with me to some singing audition. It wasn't even important, but I forced you to go. We took the bus, and got in a terrible accident. You shielded me from the blast. When I woke up, you had gone into a coma. You died several times those first few months, but I refused to let them pull the plug on you. You woke up nearly a year later, on your birthday, only a few days ago. You were paralyzed waist down and couldn't use you right arm, but I didn't care, because you were alive and well.

Then your cousin, Cole, attacked you. He was in love with you, but you were in love with me, and that, just when I thought I'd lost you, is when I realized I loved you, too. I busted in and watched you defy him even though you were afraid. When he left, I got you out of there, and brought you here. Faust heard about our trouble, probably from Yoh, and fixed you up, also doing something that made you able to walk and use your arm again.

The next morning, you told me the truth about Cole and how he raped you. Then he came in, led by my sister, trying to take you, but I wouldn't let him. Then you were possessed by Rahu, the God of Destruction and harbinger of the Shaman Tournament. You tried to kill me, but Cole jumped in the way, to his death, to make you happy. Then I... I had to kill you. But Ketu, Goddess of Destiny, healed you. Rahu, before he left, said something about leaving us a gift, as well, and then we kissed.

Next I know, you're punching me and running off and Pilika is spouting nonsense about being in love with me, turning us to stone, and trying to kill you." Horo Horo finished, his eyes watery with tears.

"I... I see." Ren said shakily.

"...And?" Horo asked, scared.

"I just... I don't know what to think. You have to admit, it all sounds very radical. I don't remember any of this." Ren sighed. "I feel so lost."

"You should get some sleep. You look terrible and haven't slept well recently. Maybe you can sort out your mind tomorrow. I'll be right here if you need me." Horo said, curling up in the chair with a yawn.

"Goodnight, Ren. I... I love you." he added hesitantly, not wanting to scare the other boy.

"You... You don't have to sleep over there. We can share the bed." Ren said timidly. Blue eyes flew open.

"Really?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah. I mean, it doesn't mean I love you or anything. I'm not ready for that. But, I mean, after all you did and how understanding you're being... I couldn't just let you sleep there." Ren stammered.

"Alright, then." Horo said cheerfully, glad Ren would give him a chance to build his trust. He slipped under the sheets, facing the younger boy, and closed his eyes again, promptly falling fast asleep. Ren lay for a moment, staring up at the ceiling and pulling his thoughts together before letting it all slip away. He snuggled up to Horo's larger form, sharing heat as he slipped into a land of dreams and fragments of forgotten memories.


	11. Dreams, Food and Phones

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER ELEVEN – Dreams, Food and Phones

Ren's glowing eyes fluttered open as he came to. The first thing he caught sight of was the soft face of the Ainu boy. His blue hair framed his cheeks and an adorable smile rested upon his lips. His arms held Ren in a protective grip as he made small sleepy noises and cuddled closer.

"Ren..." he mumbled in his sleep. Ren's eyes widened.

'He dreams of me?' he thought in shock. He had only just begun to accept that Horo loved him.

"Horo Horo... What are we doing?" he whispered, fearing the answer and prepared to bolt.

"I love you...please don't hurt me...let me help...I just want you to be happy." he whispered softly, and tears began streaming down his face as he slept on.

"I can't love you yet, but I'm willing to give you a chance." Ren whispered into his ear. Horo smiled slightly.

"Just don't leave me." he mumbled.

"I won't, Horo. I promise." Ren said softly, reassured that Horo was honestly trying to make him happy. He stared intently at the sleeping Ainu, trying to uncover any memory of him from before.

"I want to remember you, I really do." he sighed in defeat, his warm breath tickling the other's nose. Horo's eyes slowly blinked open.

"Ren? Watcha doin'?" he asked groggily.

"Trying to remember." he answered.

"Oh. Any luck?" Horo asked hopefully.

"Only short flashes of scenes that I can't piece together; all night I dreamt of all these faces I don't know, voices calling me and fragments of conversations with a lot of yelling. It's so familiar... But it makes no sense." Ren told him.

"Don't worry too much... you don't need any more stress than you have. There's plenty of time to put it together." Horo said worriedly, eyes full of concern.

"I'll try. You can let me go now." Ren said, blushing bright red. Horo Horo released his hold on the smaller teen and got up. Ren made his way to the little kitchenette and busied himself salvaging food from the cupboards.

"You can cook?" Horo asked, scarcely believing his eyes as the Chinese shaman turned on the stove.

"No, I just want to start a fire." Ren said sarcastically. Horo grinned. Ren may not remember, but at least he was still Ren.

Suddenly, the phone began ringing. Horo's eyes landed on the small object.

"Who knows I'm here?" he wondered aloud.

"Answer it." Ren commanded, barely seeming to pay any attention to the loud machine, though inside he was bursting with anticipation.

"Hello?" Horo asked anxiously.

"HIIIIIIIII!" Yoh's screeching voice shot out, causing Horo to drop the phone a moment.

"Yoh?" he asked carefully.

"You Betcha! Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!" he yelled, and Horo envisioned him jumping up and down in excitement.

"YOH! Stop bouncing off the walls!" Anna's voice yelled.

"Sorry, Anna." Yoh said meekly.

"What's up, Yoh?" Horo asked uneasily as he put it on speaker phone.

"I'm gonna have a baby!" he yelled.

"I didn't know that was possible, Yoh." Ren said, having crept closer to the phone.

"Huh? ...OH! Not ME, Ren! I meant I'm going to be the FATHER of a baby!" he amended.

"Does Anna know?" Horo asked, winking at Ren, who smirked mischievously.

"Huh? ...She's the one who told me." Yoh said.

"Then why aren't you dead? Anna would kill you if she knew." Horo stated.

"Huh? ...She's the one having the baby..." he said.

"OH! THAT explains it!" Ren said, feigning surprise.

"EWW! Bad mental images of you and Anna in bed! Bad images!" Horo yelled.

"...You two are impossible... You're wasting my time. This is long distance." Yoh said.

"Sorry, Yoh. We were just joking with you. Boy or girl?" Horo asked.

"Don't know. We're still deciding if we want to find out or wait and be surprised. The countdown has begun! Only eight months, one week, and five days until baby!" Yoh said happily.

"That's great. Congratulations, Yoh." Ren said awkwardly.

"Hi, Ren. How are you coping?" Yoh asked.

"I..." Ren looked at Horo for help.

"He's doing okay. We were sort of hoping you could explain what the situation is, exactly. What are we dealing with, here?" Horo asked.

"Nothing, anymore; Rahu and Ketu are back where they belong for good this time. Now all that remains is Ren's memory. You see, Rahu cursed you and you turned to stone the moment you shared that kiss. Pilika and I went to the Great Spirit, and I managed to integrate long enough to cure you both, but Pilika had to choose one of you to forget everything.

It's my fault, really. I... I'm just not strong enough to integrate with the Great Spirit like that. I wore myself out the first time, and I'm afraid if I try to help Ren, I may lose my life. I just can't do that to Anna... or to my kid. The best I can do for you now is to offer my moral support. It may be years before I'm comfortable with the Great Spirit, and then it depends on whether or not Ren even wants to remember. He may decide he's happy just creating new memories. You did tell him that many of his memories were not the happiest of tales, didn't you? The few I know I wish I could erase from my mind." Yoh said.

"Yeah, I told him." Horo said.

"Well, I got to go before Anna catches me on long distance. Oh, and just to warn you, only Anna, Pilika and I know about the whole memory thing, and I heard Jun is on her way to see Ren, what with all the trouble he's having. Bye!" Yoh hung up quickly.

"Horo... I want you to tell me more. I want you to tell me anything I should know before Jun arrives. I don't want to hurt her." Ren said quietly.

"Are you sure you can keep up the old attitude? Being Ren as she knows him really isn't easy. He had a sort of aura about him. A damned-be-to-all-who-get-in-my-path aura; just one look and you could see his confident, arrogant, cocky personality. He shot insults to anyone who glanced at him sideways and had a temper to match, not to mention the sarcasm he practically reeked of. However, he always treated women with the utmost respect, especially Jun. He looked up to her, I suppose. Do you want to be like that?" Horo asked.

"If only to keep her happy, yes." Ren answered with finality.

"Let the lessons begin." Horo grinned.


	12. Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER TWELVE - Memories

Horokeu Usui and Tao Ren sat at an outdoor café, enjoying a light breeze as it played through their hair and kissed their faces. A short waitress came up to them, pen poised for their orders.

"Just a bowl of rice and a glass of milk, please." Ren smiled politely.

"I'll have a bowl of rice, some sushi, a few egg rolls, some shrimp, today's special, and some water, thanks." Horo said happily, oblivious to the looks he was getting. When she had left, Horo began.

"Okay, a few tips to start with. Sit up straight. Speak a little more like you don't care and avoid eye contact. Act like you know they're there and it doesn't matter to you. Keep your voice short and snappy, less emotional. Try to say as little as possible. Leave speaking mainly to your eyebrows and body." he told him.

"Okay." Ren nodded in agreement.

"I'll be back in a second, Ren. I got to go to the bathroom." Horo said and left. Ren sat, eyeing their table and fiddling with his napkin.

"Well, well, well...look who's here." a low, sweet voice said as a shadow cast over the table. Ren looked up to see a boy no older than himself. He was dressed in priestly robes and had orange paint beneath his sleepy eyes. His brown hair was rather short, save for a long braid going down his back to his waist.

"Umm... Do I know you?" Ren asked, curious about this new stranger.

"Don't play dumb! You murdered my brother!" he snapped, slamming his fist down on the hard wood.

"I...I didn't do anything... Who are you?" the Chinese asked.

"You know damn well who I am, you bastard! Nichrom! And you fucking killed my older brother, Chrom! You remember it! I see in your eyes, you know it! You killed him! Murderer!" Nichrom overturned the table and stepped closer, grabbing Ren by the chin. Ren stared at him with honey-colored orbs filled with fright and confusion.

"I'll come back for you, you piece of Tao shit, and when I do, one of us will die." he whispered cruelly into his ear before leaving as suddenly as he came. Ren sat, quivering in fright for a moment before running off to the bathroom. He ran past Horo, through the door and into a stall, slamming the door behind him. He curled up on the floor, bringing his knees close, and began to sob uncontrollably.

"Ren? You okay?" Horo's concerned voice called as he followed.

"I...I...I'm a murderer, Horo. I...I murdered someone..." Ren cried.

"Come here, Ren." Horo commanded. Ren did as he was told and stood up, opening the door for him. Horo pulled him out and sat him on the counter beside the sink.

"Here." he removed his head band and wet it with cold water, using it to cool Ren's face.

"I killed someone, Horo. I'm a murderer." he repeated.

"I know... I know." Horo brought him into a firm embrace, tracing light circles along his back.

"How can you love me? How can you love a murderer? How can you even look at me after that?" Ren asked shakily.

"It's in the past. It happened long ago. You've changed. The Ren I know now would never hurt anyone, despite what he'd like us to believe. You were confused and angry. All your life, you were taught to destroy everything. You've done some pretty bad things, but you're different, now. You aren't like that, anymore." Horo whispered soothingly.

"I still did it, though. Nothing can change that. Nothing can change the fact that I killed someone in cold blood, fully knowing what I was doing." Ren hiccupped.

"How do you know you knew what you were doing?" Horo asked.

"I...I remember. I remember looking into his eyes as he died, feeling glad as the blood seeped into the ground. I remember the satisfaction of controlling his fate, the sight of his deep crimson blood. I remember his scream, his pleas for mercy. I remember it all. I smiled as he died. I got a thrill out of taking his life. I remember his tears, and the feel of the grip of my kwan dao as I delivered the final blow. I remember watching him take his final breath, watching his face go pale and his body go lifeless. I remember watching his lifeless eyes watching me... just watching me. His mouth was twisted in a scream of agony that never left his mouth. But the blood kept coming. I reached down and touched it... such fascination I found in the cold feeling of life-giving red. I clenched it in my hands, trying to capture the life that was once there, a twisted sense of pleasure reaching my mind. I laughed. I laughed at the pathetic being I had so easily brought to an end. I loved the feeling, the power, and the control. It's so vivid... Why? Why do I remember it so easily? Why can't I remember you? I want to... I really do..." Ren sniffled.

"What brought this memory on?" Horo asked, mostly to himself.

"Nichrom. He told me I killed his brother, Chrom. And it's true. He wants to kill me. I deserve no less." Ren said sadly.

"No, you don't! You aren't that person anymore. You can be anybody you want to be, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I don't think we should take him seriously, anyways. If you feel up to it, we'll go eat now, if not, we can go back to the hotel." Horo offered.

"I...I want to go home." Ren said softly.

"Alright then, we'll go home." Horo nodded.

"No... Not the hotel... May I... see my home?" Ren asked softly, feeling sick and looking pale.

"Alright, then, your flat it is!" the Ainu grinned.

"No. My home." Ren stressed the word. Horo grew quiet.

"HoroHoro-kun?" Ren asked.

"Ah?" Horo acknowledged him.

"Do I even have a home?" he questioned, gazing at Horo in child-like innocence.

"I honestly don't know, Ren. You hated your estate in China, you had vacation houses all over the world, you bought that flat but lived alone..." his voice trailed off. Ren nodded.

"Then I am...all alone..." he muttered.

"Huh? I didn't catch that." Horo strained to hear his love.

"Oh, nothing. Let's check out my flat and maybe continue the lessons, ne?" he smiled slightly. Horo grinned and led the way, walking backwards so he could instruct Ren further on how to be himself. When they got there, the place was still in ruin. Ren glanced about.

"I guess it is true, then..." he whispered. Horo nodded. Ren walked in further and lifted a painting from the floor. He stared at the jumbled mixture of snow and trees and light and dark. Horo watched him admire it.

"You did that, you know." he said. Ren nodded, entranced. He stared deeper into the picture, used his finger to outline bits as his eyes traveled it. As he stared, a memory floated through his head.

_"You're a worthless wretch! You'll never amount to anything! Get out of my sight!" En yelled from his seat in Tanjen Hall. Ren growled and clenched his teeth from his place on the floor, his fists balling up, clenching the blood that his father had beaten out of him._

_"I hate you." he hissed, pure rage burning through him, scaring him with its complete hatred. The large man only laughed wickedly. Ren noticed the wood of his kwan dao before him. He snatched up the weapon and let his anger take him completely. He shoved himself at his father, wanting nothing more than to plunge the sharp point into his flesh, to kill him. But suddenly, the man was gone and his attack landed straight into a young servant boy. He stared in shock as blood came dribbling down the boy's chin and he slumped over the blade, allowing Ren to see the point sticking clean through the other end, his insides trailing onto the floor. Ren felt himself getting sick and then a hard blow hit the back of his head._

_"Stupid, insolent boy." were the last words he heard as he blacked out._

Ren gasped and threw the painting across the room, backing away as though it were the devil himself. He backed straight into a pair of warm, comforting arms. They wrapped around him as warm breath soothingly blew onto his neck. Hands petted him soothingly as little murmurs of a hundred nothings reached his ears.

"Horo..." he whispered as his vision blurred with tears and the voices suddenly plaguing his mind began to scream and shout. His face scrunched up in pain and he grabbed his head, trying to stop the endless screeching which only seemed to get louder.

"Horo! Horo, make it stop! Make them shut up!" he sobbed, unable to hear his own voice through the mist that had encased him. Hundreds of voices were swirling around in his head, neither ending nor beginning, a circle of countless lies.

"No more! No more, I beg you!" he pleaded with his torment as his head began to ache with all the memory voices mixing around into one giant roar.

"No...more..." he whispered before falling limp and unconscious into Horo's arms


End file.
